Total certainty.

All gold now. Gold slit eyes, gold whiskers, gold earpiece, a gold badge and the old scar from the classified paper cut. He has followed every stage of this collection from the shadows: the earpiece in stage one, the five passports in stage two, the newspaper in stage three, the night-vision goggles in stage four. Now nothing is hidden any more. Under the all-seeing eye he is the only cat who stares back. Asked who he works for, he says “you”. Asked what that means, he leaves through a door that wasn't there before.

Origin

Every stage. He was there. You didn't notice.

Known for

Staring back at the all-seeing eye.

Status

1 of 1. One of the four direct Ultra Rares, 523 NOID.

Colander helmet with antennas, a satellite dish and blinking lights. A bandolier full of batteries, camo, the XXX bottle and a UFO hovering right above him. And standing directly behind him: an actual alien. He has prepared for this moment his whole life: five stages, three bunkers, forty cans of beans and a radio tuned to a frequency nobody uses. Now the moment is here, one metre behind him, waving. He hasn't turned around. Please don't tell him. He would only say he told you so.

Origin

The cabin, all three bunkers and, briefly, orbit.

Known for

Being right. Facing the wrong way.

Status

1 of 1. One of the four direct Ultra Rares, 523 NOID.

Once he was a quiet systems cat in a building full of screens. One night he found a folder marked 702 and read it. Then he read the rest. He copied everything onto a stick the size of a fish treat, flew to a city of skyscrapers and met three reporters in a hotel room, where he asked them to put their phones in the fridge. While typing passwords he pulled a red blanket over his head. Halfway through the next journey his passport stopped working, and he spent weeks living in an airport transit zone. These days he lives somewhere very cold and talks to the world over video, a Rubik's cube never far away. He knows exactly what's in the file. That is why he is the calmest cat in the collection.

Origin

A building full of screens. And folder 702.

Known for

Phones in the fridge. Blanket over the head.

Status

1 of 1. One of the four direct Ultra Rares, 523 NOID.

Long white hair, dark suit, a laptop glowing green and papers drifting around him like snow. He built a website for things other people would rather keep in drawers, and then he opened all the drawers at once. After that he spent seven years in a small embassy flat with a skateboard, a lot of paperwork and a cat in a striped tie, the only flatmate he ever fully trusted. Many years and even more paperwork later, he got on a plane and flew home to the other side of the world. His expression hasn't changed once in all that time. He still publishes everything, mostly to see who gets nervous first.

Origin

The other side of the world. And back.

Known for

Opening all the drawers at once.

Status

1 of 1. One of the four direct Ultra Rares, 523 NOID.

Office lanyard, blue shirt, a mug that says IT'S FINE and a phone with a strip of tape over the camera. One bead of sweat. Gold slit eyes under the all-seeing eye. He works in accounts. He has worked in accounts for eleven years, and nobody in accounts remembers hiring him. He takes the stairs because the lift has a camera, and he brings lunch from home because the canteen keeps a list. He is the only Ultra Rare in the random pot, hidden among 689 ordinary cats. He fits right in. Completely normal. It's fine. Everything is fine.

Origin

Accounts. Third desk from the window. Blinds down.

Known for

Being completely normal.

Status

1 of 1, hidden in the pot. 1 in 690 per mystery cat.